Welcome to my weirdness :)
Sometimes I think to myself, “do I really want to buy another chocolate bar?”
And then I remember that there is a super volcano under Yellowstone that is 40,000 years overdue and when it erupts it could potentially cover most of north America in ash and create a volcanic winter that kills half the worlds population
And I’m like, fuck yeah I want that chocolate bar
This is one of the most inspiring posts i’ve ever seen
"It’s a metaphor," the terrorist tells the FBI, "You put the bomb in the building but don’t blow it up."
Of all the shitty metaphor jokes, this is the shittiest.
"It’s a metaphor," I said to the annoying white girl, "I act like I care about your opinion but I actually don’t."
|me:||wtf why is everyone going to bed, it's only-|
dear coca cola company,
i drank some of your POWERADE drink and im still weak as fuck when will the power begin to kick in? please reply soon, i just sent a mass text to my entire school saying i would beat up the football team this friday
That is a horror that may never again be recreated.
photobomb from beyond the grave
okay but when you flip it you get
HAYYYYY GURLLLL WHERE THE PARTY AT
this website i swear
dont waste ur time reading this post. go paint a tree, hlep the elderly cross the street, skip down the road, throw a rock in the beach, take life by the tits and milk it
that post was definitely worth reading
UR NOT MILKING THE TITS OF LIFE
"Date someone who would rather watch your favorite movie with you then go to a party on Friday night. Date someone who will share their food with you even though you said you didn’t want any. Date someone who will warm your hands in the winter and kiss your pink nose. Date someone who will text you they love you at 2am and at 9pm. Date someone who will let you change the station in the car when they’re driving. Date someone who can make you smile when you would rather die. Date someone who makes your insides feel like you’ve just downed a bottle of vodka. Date someone who makes you better."